i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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