Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
