where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
