If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
