i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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