just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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