oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
