found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
