We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
