My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
