I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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