Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
