i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
