she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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