so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
