whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so explain again why im purple
no
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize