This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Everything about him screamed your future.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
