What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
