I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
