Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
