i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
