It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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