Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
