dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
