ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I want a musical about memes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
