this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
