that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
