please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
