this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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