Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
