Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
