How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
