where does the pee come out of this thing
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
