Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
