That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
