They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
