I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
