I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
