new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize