does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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