just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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