I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
don't judge my taste in strippers
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
