I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
