Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize