So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
