oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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