TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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