My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
