im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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