so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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