I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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