Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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