Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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