Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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