i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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