So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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