If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize