i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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