I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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