More tranny stories later!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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