I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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