I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
