My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
