It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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