You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize