It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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