he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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