I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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