He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have post one night stand depression
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
