I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
