Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
