i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
